Band Feud of the Week: Pagan Athletes

vol. 1 (11.3.2019)

This week, The Real Zebos are beefing HARD with Pagan Athletes. This brother-and-brother duo is joining us in the Omahallowen lineup this Thursday night, alongside Garst and Magu.

Of the four-band lineup, The Real Zebos are scheduled to perform last, at 10:15pm. While I agree that we deserve to headline every show, a 10:15pm set time is a bit much for normies on a weeknight, even if it is Halloween. Because of this, I gently and respectfully asked the Omahalloween Show Group Chat if we could move the entire show up 30 minutes, with music starting at 7:30 instead of 8:00.

After some discourse and quickly-resolved concerns, Garst and Magu graciously agreed to the request. However, PAGAN ATHLETES claimed they can’t do the 7:30 start time, squandering what would have been universal consensus.

Now let me get this straight, “Nathan” from “Pagan” “Athletes”:  You mean to tell me that you can do an 8:00 start time, but not 7:30? What’s the difference to you? You know you’ll have to BE THERE by at least 7:30 anyway to set up, right? So why not start early? What is keeping you from showing up on time? Can Mommy not give wu a wide to your wock show so yuw have to wide your biwke? (I think Nathan is pretty young, I’m not sure).

All of this is beside the fact that Pagan Athletes is the musical antithesis of The Real Zebos. Their muddled music lacks any true structure or hooks -- call me when you finally string together a melody.

Whatever, dudes. We’re not even mad. We don’t even care. Just know that we’re feuding now.

-jord

DISCLAIMER: Griffin and Nathan Wolf from Pagan Athletes are super cool & talented dudes who are way better at their respective instruments than I will ever be. Be sure to check out Pagan Athletes if you are into psych-punk noise.